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Achievement Unlocked !

Tycho recently achieved the highest level of Lap Cat, outsripping Iella, who is still essentially on Grade 3. Cats may occasionally function at a lower level their actual rank of Lap Cat, but they retain the skills and rank of the highest grade achieved at all times.


Grade 3: LAP CAT. The cat will sit on a lap so long as some attention is being paid to it, in the form of stroking/caressing. The cat may keep changing position, and may rub its face against the sittee (person being sat upon), or make sounds in order to draw attention to itself if attention is withdrawn. Loss of attention for more than a couple of minutes, or a minor change in the sittee's position will be enough to make the cat jump off the lap indignantly.

Grade 2: LAP COSY. This cat is happy to settle down and let the sittee watch television/read a book/play with small gadget, or talk to a friend. The cat is relaxed and does not require near-contant, hands-on attention, though it will appreciate an occasional rub or stroke. More distinct changes shifts of position by the sittee will cause the cat to leave, especially in the first few minutes of sitting. or after 30-60 minutes, when the cat begins to be bored. The Lap Cosy rarely settles for longer than this

Grade 1: LAP FUNGUS.  Often commences the sit as a Lap Cosy. After a short time, the cat settles itself across the lap and falls asleep. The more experienced Lap Fungus may fall asleep almost at once. The Lap Fungus is not easily disturbed; if woken by a change in the sittee's position, it will rapidly return to sleep once the movement has ceased. The Lap Fungus may resemble a warm, furry growth on the sittee's lap for some length of time. Once woken by a sittee who wishes to move, the Lap Fungus will look indignant, while continuing to sprawl bonelessly across the lap, inspite of initial movements towards rising by the sittee. The Lap Fungus may be displaced by prodding, verbal commands, lifting to the floor, or actually rising till the Lap Fungus has no choice but to jump off with as much dignity as possible.



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
18th Oct, 2014 23:23 (UTC)
Tessa used to be 1st grade, but Jasmin is the only one who gets as far as grade 3. Ashley loves being stroked and picked up and cuddled but very rarely gets on my lap, and Sebastian, though a smoochy cuddle-cat, shows his affection from beside me, burrowing against me while watching TV, or purring in my ear and trying to groom me in bed.

I miss the warm book-cat that used to go with reading.
20th Oct, 2014 16:53 (UTC)
Yes, Skiffle was a top-grade Lap Fungus and I have rather missed my warm, furry blanket. Mind you, she was a rather solid weight after a while: Diesel was like a feather on a lap.

It's good to have cats on my lap again and wonderful when Tycho just relaxes and settles.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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